Episode 4

The campaign starts with Number/NoDot receiving a video message from their girlfriend Hecate. Previously, Number had sent her the files found on Emilio Castille's hand terminal.

"Hi Dot. I hope you’ve been getting into all kinds of trouble. So listen, I kinda forgot about all those files you sent me until last night, and wow, I haven’t really slept. Is this a prank? Did you find somebody really smart to prank me? She better not be prettier than me.

"This thing is fucking wild. It doesn’t borrow a single mechanism from our existing biology. There’s no way it would occur naturally, with all of the quantum chemistry involved. This thing is, like… fucking chef's kiss sleek, too. Peak efficiency. Peak beauty. It’s… kind of fucking terrifying. Okay, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

"So first off, what we’re looking at here is a macro-molecule, which is exactly what it sounds like. Most macro-molecules are dumb--like rubber, for example. Others are a little more complex, like proteins. But this? This? I’ve never seen anything like it. There’s basically a whole fucking, like, quantum computer crammed in there ready to do… well… something. The data you sent doesn’t include that. But what does this molecule do, you ask? So get a load of this.

"Cool thing it can do number one: it can build. At first I thought this mechanism just existed so that it can self-replicate, but I was thinking small. When I found that computer inside it, I realized... it can build whatever the fuck it wants. And of course, that brings us to cool thing it can do number two: it can deconstruct matter too, which makes sense because how could it build stuff without materials? But get this: nuclear transmutation, which is, um… it’s literal fucking alchemy, Numbie. Like... it wouldn’t even need carbon atoms to make sugar. It could just pop the bits off a few hydrogen atoms and throw away the nuclei, or save it for later, or whatever! Doing this kind of thing is challenging on a large scale, but absolutely unheard of on a molecular scale.

"Now, I already know what you’re thinking: if this thing is just a molecule, where does it get enough energy to do any of that? And, well… I’m not sure yet. It is insanely efficient, and definitely has all the requisite functions to store some chemical energy, but that would never be enough for… fucking space alchemy… I cannot get over that. I was actually just trying to figure out where the energy comes from when my chat reminder went off a minute ago. Until I figure it out, I really couldn’t tell you how fast it can turn a bicycle into a puppy or whatever... but it could. Eventually.

"Oh also, not to boast, but I’m not sure a room full of quantum biochemistry post-grads could’ve figured all this stuff out in one night. Hell, I’d be surprised if they could figure it out in a week. I got a bit lucky with where I started my investigation, but also GOD I am at the top of my fucking game. It’s too bad I love sustainability so much because I’d fucking kill it in whatever quantum-bio-phys-chem fuckery sub-field this is. I really want to incorporate some of this stuff into my plants, but ah fuck who am I kidding, there’s no way I could synthesize anything like this with my equipment. Also I’d probably be in like… deep violation of some patent or imprisoned for life for IP theft or murdered by a hitman. Blech.

"Anyway, I digress. What else, what else… Oh yeah. So this stuff definitely had to be synthesized. There's just no way this molecule would have occurred naturally. But it would also be impossible to produce this thing with any lab equipment I’ve ever heard of. But obviously... the alternative is incredibly far-fetched, so what I wanna know is: who the fuck is making this and where the fuck they did they get their grant funding??

"Oh also, this goes without saying, Number, but if you have some of this stuff, don’t fucking touch it unless you want to slowly turn into a bicycle. And I wouldn’t bank on it turning you into a puppy, even though that would be pretty cute. Well… the puppy would be cute. The process would probably be horrific.

"So yeah, if you could cough ask cough whomever you got these files from for more of them, I really want to know what the designer’s intention is with this. The data you sent me only contains the raw structure, so... unless you have more of those files laying around, we’ll just have to use our imaginations regarding what the fuck the in-built computer is for.

"Soo, that’s just about everything interesting about that so far. I can’t wait to hear from you! Hope you’re having a great time with your space friends! I’m expecting to receive your first message in about… fifteen minutes, oops. I guess I started recording a little early. Ok. I should definitely go find some coffee and make some breakfast and totally not spend every second until your message arrives investigating this thing some more. Kisses, nerd. Hecate Out."

She ends the transmission with her signature CRT line-collapsing effect and sound effect.